12.20.2010

Can you believe that 2010 is already almost over?! I can't. I'm not sure where the year has gone; I'm pretty certain that anyone with kids feels the same way.


We've had so much to be thankful for this year and yet we've also had so much grief that it's hard to figure out which one outweighs the other. I'm pretty sure the good outweighs the bad, but sometimes it's not easy to remember that. This year, I've spent a good portion of it being crabby, unhappy, impatient, and downright angry. Don't get me wrong, there has been some good times too . . . I've got to find a way to get back to being me. The me where the smiles come easy and natural and is there all the time - people used to call me smiley. I can't remember the last time that happened. I used to enjoy going to work, for lots of reasons; seeing people, getting a break from the kids, feeling useful and competent. Now, I dread it, I don't want to get out of bed in the morning. I'm short fused with the kids and that leads to feeling guilty about being a horrible mommy. Yada, yada, yada...


Recently, my friend Jana (who I grew up with on Lopez and havn't seen in years) sent me a book - A Life Lost...and found and I think I need to start reading it. When she told me she was sending it, I was so excited on so many different levels. One, I love getting prizes (especially in the mail). Two, I love to read. Three, Oh emm gee, someone else knows what I'm feeling like and recognized this and is sending me something to help! Four, well, I can't remember what Four is right now, but anyhow...I was really excited to dive right in. And then I didn't. I don't know why. Maybe because it's easier to keep burying whatever is going on...?


I really blew my "new year's resolutions" for this year. I mean, really blew it. Um they're right here if you want to re-read them. And I don't think I accomplished one of them. Nope, not a one. So, here's to the end of 2010 --- me laying it all out there, I sucked in 2010.


I'm moving onward and upward though. Here's my TO-DO List and my NOT SO NEW Year's Resolutions:


1. Join the gym.
I'm going to get up and go to the gym in the morning before my kids are up. This way, there's not mommy guilt for being gone. No more excuses. And honestly, I think this will fix a lot of my problems. I feel so much better when I'm exercising.


2. Pay off the bills.


For now, I'm going to start with these...going to get back on track. One day at a time.

christmas frenzy

we decided that we would try and do better this year, spread out our Christmas shopping, start a little sooner, buy a little less for everyone. yeah, that worked well... we're now in the countdown to Christmas and in a frenzy!
here we are in the midst of crazy Christmas-ness thoroughly enjoying our insanity; there is a certain kind of bliss that comes with searching every store to find the perfect gifts for the people you love. i even went shopping on black Friday! (aaah, crazy i know, right?) anyhow, here we are, mid Christmas bliss -- and we are rudely snapped back into reality, a reality that we don't like, and thought, maybe just maybe we were through with... done, fini, over. fat chance.
the day before thanksgiving, grandpa Ben(mike's dad) had surgery to remove a mass that was pushing on his bladder causing a lot of problems....Wednesday was their follow up appointment with the doctor. the results were bad. do i have to even say it? i guess ... saying it makes it real, and it is so here goes: he has cancer. a very aggressive cancer. the doctor feels he's not strong enough to survive a surgery, not to mention all the complications that go along with surgery for grandpa like he'd have to go off his blood thinners which puts him back up in stroke territory, and yet, the doctor also feels he's probably not strong enough to do chemo...


so here we are once again, thrown back into this -- it's looming there over us, like a big black storm cloud...


what happened to my Christmas bliss?



halloween.2010. great grandpa bed and kiddos.

Kelan Update:

Just was reading back and realized I left you all hanging about Kelan! So, after the removed tumor was sent to pathology, they found out that the tumor was differentiated and/or differentiating... translation: part of the cancer cells in what they removed were dead, and some were still dying. So, they opted to hold off on any more treatment and he is now in a "holding" pattern. They will monitor him and watch for any changes...
Kelan started preschool a few weeks back and is thoroughly enjoying being a little boy.




*some of my terminology may not be correct, but the gist is, he's not doing treatment right now!

The Tooth Fairy

 

The day we were on our way home from Mexico -- Cadynce lost her first tooth! She was so excited, Stacie was here with her, but she made Stacie PROMISE not to tell us. Stacie took a picture and sent it to us, so that the tooth fairy would know. Cadynce was so excited in the morning to see that the tooth fairy had came and went, but she was a little sad that we didn't get to see the tooth because it was gone in the morning. ;)
I have to say, I was so excited for her and yet sad for me. I hated missing a first...thank goodness our friends are amazing. Our kids are too.

wedding no. 2

Wedding number 2 was for cousin Andrea. Only Cadynce was in this one, but it was a long day for her with no nap. She did really well...actually, she was a pro. Our niece Alex was the other flower girl, the two girls had so much fun. Alex was a little nervous, but Cadynce let her know just how it all would go down. They did great together! Again, hardly any pictures, but that's because I actually forgot my camera at home and Colby had to bring it when they came... oops.

 

dance, princess, dance.

 

fancy dresses and music -- it's all she needs.

 

cousins.

 

the girl and her papa. life is good.

Hot Summer Days...

So back in August, we had 2 weddings, 2 weekends in a row! I just realized I never posted ANY pictures! My bad! So, these are just a few from John and Lauren's wedding. I've known Lauren forever, literally, forever. Our whole family was in the wedding, so I don't have a ton of pictures of all of us, because we were all busy. Camden was especially cranky that day as well... we found out that very morning that the poor kid had tonsilitis. He was still a little trooper and wore his tux for about 5 hours!

Here we are! All fancied up!

This picture pretty much sums up the kids that day.

and of course the beautiful bride!

not too crazy

Today is the last day of Colby being gone, in fact, they are on their way home right now. The Knudson men take this annual hunting trip, to North Dakota, to hunt pheasants for ten days or so. Typically, these ten days are insane for me. Shuffling kids, losing my patience, being lonely and feeling like I can't do anything because it's just me and the kids. Even when it was just Cadynce I couldn't wait for him to be home......feeling like I needed to bolt the second he got home just for a break.


There are certain things that I always do while he's gone, like visiting the pumpkin patch, this has become a tradition with my friend Lauren. And there are things that I most certainly do not get to do, like go to zumba.


A while back I decided there were some things I needed to work on about myself (you can find that post right here ) and being patient was one of the main ones. I've never been known for my patience, especially with my kids, so for me, this was a great time to see how much better I had gotten. I can honestly say, this time around, it has been so much better. I don't know if it is that I am more patient, the kids are more well behaved or just a combination of things...but it's been good.


We have been to the park multiple times, visited the grandparents, gone to birthday parties, had days with no naps, baked and tried new foods for dinner. And don't forget the pumpkin patch! I really like the fact that Colby is coming home today and I don't feel like I need to hit the door running as he's walking in. Don't get me wrong, I'm ready for a break...but I would be okay with just some time to scrapbook while they play with daddy in the living room.

10.17.2010

What a whirlwind! We (me, Colby, Mike, Ryan and Kelli) went to Mexico the 6th thru the 12th! That was amazing. Sunshiney, hot, and an all-inclusive resort. Ahhh, heaven. We wouldn't have been able to go on that trip if it weren't for our super great friends stepping up and helping with the kids. Life is good.
We got home late the night of the 12th, which was a Tuesday night and the following Friday, so, uhh, 2 days ago, Colby and the boys left bright and early for the annual hunting trip. The kids miss their daddy, but he needs this. So far, the kids and I have done pretty good...maybe they really did miss me for once!
I just wanted to check in and let everyone know we're alive still.
Closing in on that dreaded one year....

wind. rain. sun?

For the last week, we've been convinced that summer was over. It's been windy, rainy and just nasty outside...I have quickly realised that I'm not ready for it... not ready for kids to be cooped up in the house trying to burn off pent up energy. I'm already trying to think of things to do this fall and winter to keep them busy. For Cadynce it's not going to be too tough, school seems to be wearing her out pretty well, but Camden, he's another story. So, I'm really appreciating the fact that today has actually turned out fairly nice, a little windy, but it's not wet! This afternoon we'll head outside to burn some energy and hopefully tonight go to Papa's house to play on the new play set.


A note about Kelan:
Kelan (remember him from here?) had surgery on Monday, the 20th, and after 13 1/2 hours of surgery the surgeons called it quits because they couldn't control the bleeding. They were only able to remove about 30-40% of the tumor, while that is great because it's that much less, it's still not what they were hoping for. Kelan will have to start chemo again in about three weeks...I'll keep you posted. Or you can check out his caring bridge site.


Back to all the rain...did I tell you about camping? We went camping twice this summer up to the lot at Pillaguamish. The kids really liked it, and so did we! It's convenient, and it's gated.. the girls (Cadynce and cousin Alex) can go down to the bathrooms or playground just the two of them and we don't have to worry. (the second weekend we did however hear about cougar sitings! woops) The second trip up was a bit longer than the first, 4 whole days! It was Labor day weekend so there was lots of festivities...poker run, raffles, bingo...and it poured down rain. During the poker run we had Ryan, Colby, Kelli, me, Cadynce, Alex, and Camden all on the golf cart in the pouring down rain trying to collect our poker cards. We got drenched! Luckily, they have some nice super sized industrial strength dryers up there that dried out our coats, sweatshirts and sweatpants in no time! Needless to say, we played a lot of cards under the tent, burned A LOT of fire wood and the kids played their ds's and watched movies. All in all, we really did have a great time, it was nice just to be away. (and I did take my camera, I had good intentions, it just never made it out of the car.)

garage sale story

This weekend was our bi-annual neighborhood garage sale...I hate garage sales. Hate shopping them, hate doing them, setting up, tearing down, lugging stuff to the goodwill. Ugh. Hate them! This weekend, we had a garage sale Friday, Saturday and Sunday and we even made some money! So that was cool. Okay, focus, back to the story.
Friday was a bit of a struggle with Camden playing outside and him wanting to bring the toys back in that he hasn't touched in a year. So I was so lucky that Papa agreed to take the both of them to cousin Alex's soccer game yesterday! Some friends dropped by and helped me out some even. But, yesterday afternoon it was just me hanging out, reading my book, and this gentleman in a motorized wheel chair and his caretaker came wheeling in. They looked around and asked about prices for a few things. Clearly, he had a disability, but I wasn't sure what. The young lady with him attends UW, and they had bussed from Seattle to stay with a friend of Doug's (yes, this is really his name) around the corner. After some chit-chat, they toolied off to head towards the next garage sale...when I looked up they were heading back, and I thought, boy, he changed his mind fast and is coming back for the lamp! Not so much. They had a flat tire! On a motorized wheel chair! With a severely disabled man in it! OH EM GEE! They inquired as to if I had a bike pump we could use for the tire or not, which of course we do not. A light bulb went off in my head, we have a compressor, duh! And we use it for the stroller wheels and bike wheels, it's gotta work...yeah, not so much. I suck and couldn't make it work. About now, I'm starting to panic, because yes they are nice people, but what am I gonna do with them!?! I called Colby trying not to sound too panicky, but quickly explained the situation and he agreed to head home and help! Thank you, God! We realized before Colby got there that the valve stem cap was broken and I tried to call and have him bring one, but he was already gone. When he got home, he quickly figured out that the tire was bad, or popped, or something...the young lady had called their friends around the corner and they were coming to see if they could help. (Also, by this time we had moved Doug out of his chair and onto one of my awful hard kitchen table chairs.) Colby and the gentleman from down the road, got the wheel off, I called Les Schwab and the rude lady on the phone was no help to me at all, but I was able to let her know they would be running down for hopefully a patch if nothing else! Off went the couple from around the corner leaving: the girl, Doug, Colby and me...it was so easy to tell that although Doug struggled with some words he was highly intellectual and very funny, but it is still awkward to make idle chit-chat with people that you don't know! Mike returned home with the kids and hung out with them in the house until the neighbors got back with Doug's wheel...Les Schwab had patched it, for free! They didn't think it would hold, but figured it would work for a little bit... or long enough to get them home anyways. Colby got the motorized chair put back together and off they went.
Today, I was outside talking with Colby (It was his day to man the garage sale. please note, I made wayyyyy more money than he did.) And this afternoon, here comes Doug and his caretaker (darn it, never got her name) they brought us a card, and Doug bought that lamp after all. We also found out that they weren't having to bus back to Seattle - they got a ride, so that was nice.
Anyways, here is what the card says:
front: The kindest hearts expect no reward and deserve it all the more.
inside: you give so much of yourself in the kindness you show and the lives you touch. That's why you deserve a heartfelt "thank you" and a wish that all the goodness you share comes back to you.
handwritten: thank you so much for the rescue! I wish everyone had your spirit of generosity. If you want to know more about me go to : this address and also it was signed at the bottom: from one giving heart to another, Doug.
When we had said they didn't need to get a card, the only reply was you didn't need to help us! So after it was a funny, awkward, interesting meeting, it definitely made a good story for our garage sale. After I came in and read the story (follow the link above) I was pretty sure we had met someone very special and that we were the lucky ones that his tire blew out near us...

first day of Kindergarten

We made it! And just like I knew she would, she did great. She loved it and can't wait to go back. There were no tears...no hard goodbyes, just a, "bye mom, bye dad. love you."
Cadynce got ready for school at home with dad and then came down to Napa so I could fix her hair. She also got to see Papa before her first day this way. We took her up to school and Aunt Sandie met us there (thank goodness for Aunt Sandie doing her best to fill a big void). I really think that only we feel the void, not the kids, they are so blessed with amazing people that most of the time they forget what's missing. Outside of the school I got choked up, but amazingly enough, the tears didn't come. It was so cool to watch her walk right in, and literally drag Aunt Sandie down the hall to her classroom. (yes, she remembered where!) I couldn't believe she remembered, the ice cream social on Tuesday was total chaos and so stressful for me that I was super surprised she remembered. So that's it, she's off and running...


'

Love this shirt!


Talking to sissybug before going to school.


The girl and her Papa


Ugh, the backpack, that took us forever to get, mostly my fault because I was trying really hard to talk her into a regular backpack.


Daddy - Daughter - Dimples.


Me and caca. Colby asked me if I was really going to lug my camera all the way to school and take pictures all the way in. Of course I am! We only get this ONE time!


Cadynce has so much support...loving on Aunt Sandie.


See! Dragging Aunt Sandie down the hall!


Cadynce came home with a cute little hand necklace around her neck. She made it...it's shaped in the "i love you" with a heart glued in the middle. I guess there's a story about a raccoon going to school and it's scared. So the mom puts a kiss in its hand. I didn't know the story, but when we were talking to Tina while picking up Cam, she knew right away! I am so thankful that the beginning of this transition is going so smoothly. Now, I just have to get over all of my fears for her...kids being mean, being frustrated with school, getting embarrassed, learning bad things from her peers...these are all my fears, not hers. I know they are a part of the process, but I wouldn't be a mom if I wasn't wishing I could protect her from all those bad things...

cadynce's current loves:

music: "the hands up playing my song" - aka, party in the usa, yep, by myley cyrus.


food: "chicken nuggets and french fries" - she does love bagels and cream cheese though too.


toy: "my puppy"


thing to do: "play with my puppy and my dora pillow"


favorite person: "my cousin alex"


It was tough to get her to stand still long enough to answer just these few questions. After each one, she'd reply, "can i go play now?" So, I guess that's all you get for now. Her first day of Kindy-garten is next Thursday, and I'll take lots of pictures and let you all know how it goes. She's gonna do great. It's funny, I've been really excited for her for this day, but last week when I wrote her first day of school on the calendar, I cried. I didn't think I would. Hopefully it's all out of my system (I doubt it is). I am so grateful for all of the people who love my little girl as much as I do. Our friends are all excited just as much as she is. Her papa can't wait to call her the night before school and to see her the morning of and her (and our) Aunt Sandie is going to come meet us at the school even. It's comforting to know that so many people are there to support her.

part 3.

my little girl is not so little anymore.

park cont'd. part 2 of 3

it is so much fun for me to watch my family playing happily together. i am so blessed with them. and to be able to capture these moments on camera...is amazing. these pictures will be treasured forever.

playing at the park (in pictures) part 1 of 3

the girl loves her dog

all boy

does this need words?

my pretty girl

while the kids are napping..

I guess I should try and post something. I've been in a bit of a rut lately. Sad for lots of reasons, stressed for even more reasons and crazy busy. Between work, getting Cadynce ready for school, swim lessons, weddings and camping things have been go - go - go!

Last night I was thinking of some of the really funny things that have happened to share with you all:

• Cadynce asked our friends son, Skylar (12) if he would play with her (he had been just prior) and he said, "no, not right now Cadynce." Her response. "Skylar, let me tell you how this works, I'm going to ask you again and say pretty please, and then you're going to say yes." * where does she get this from!? hilarious, right?
• Colby and I recently started a new work out called p90x and we had to take "before" pictures. There are 4 poses we did, forward facing hands on hips, forward facing arms up all muscly like, same as before from the back and then the side. Colby takes my picture and instantly says, "you don't wanna look at those." haha... gee thanks babe!
• While down at the river at our friends house we were all swimming and Camden was playing in the sand area where it just meets the water (he's not big into swimming or being in the water this summer). Camden was naked and slinging mud...Stacie just happened to capture this:

On the not so funny side of things: Camden has had double ear infections, strep throat and tonsillitis while Cadynce has managed to escape all these for the most part. Work has been really stressful and as most of you know us and our situation - it makes home a little hard too. But we're doing our best to make things work and to keep work and home separate.
What has summer been like for all of you?

p90x

We (as in me and Colby) started p90x, an intense home workout. We are on day 7. Rest day! YEAH! It's tough, but so far we are really liking it. The bad part, the before photos. Ick. So, we won't dwell on those. We've been realllly sore, in a good way. It's nice because everyday the routine changes up.


Also, it's been some kind of heat wave around here, super duper hot. The kids are miserable by about 4 in the afternoon, if we don't have them in a pool or something. Today we are going to go to the river...gotta beat the heat somehow!


Yesterday was the kids' cousin Ryley's 3rd birthday party, it was at Grandma Cleone's. It worked out really well, Ryley's momma brought water balloons and we brought our slipnslide and a little pool...so the kiddos just hung out in there for hours.


Time to go close up the house before it starts getting too hot again...stay cool folks!

me.

I've decided there are some things I need/want to work on for myself. They are all regarding me...and I feel like if I put them out there, then I'll be held more accountable about actually doing them. I've been really unhappy lately, with myself, and in turn, I take it out on everyone else (okay, mostly Colby.)

• I want to lose weight and be fit. Really really really.
• I want to eat healthier.
• I want to involve my family more.
• I need to take the time to do more with my family.
• I need to be more patient.
• I want to have a better self esteem.
• I want to take more pictures and get back into scrap booking.

There's more....but I think now that I'm putting them out there, I'm having some sort of block on the whole process.
So here's to becoming a better me.

Bite Me (as taken from my Facebook status)

Or actually it said: Bite me, World. Go pick on someone your own size. And that is exactly how I feel. I'm so frustrated, sad, hurt.. oh I could go on. My world feels like it's in shambles, but what's funny is that none of it is directly happening to me.
Tomorrow (July 29Th) is/would be Rhonda's Birthday. These last few weeks have really gotten to me about that. There is the annual Silvana Fair that she's been a part of forever. This year they are dedicating the fair to her and all these people are putting pictures up. A good friend of Mike and Rhonda's brought in all the pictures last week and I totally broke down when she showed me them. In turn, I feel guilty when I get sad about her... especially in front of the boys, or Mike. Like it's not for me to be sad over, even though I know it isn't true... I just don't want to burden them with that too.
To make matters worse, little Shawn, remember him from here, has came out of remission. We found out on Friday that his cancer has returned and that his numbers make the chances of curing him look "not good."
Our good friends Justin and Lacey Knowles' son Kelan has also been fighting cancer, and I can't remember if I've mentioned him or not...he has been battling a few months. We got discouraging news today that his tumor has grown despite the chemotherapy. He will begin chemo again on Friday for 2 rounds, then a CT and probably surgery to remove some of the tumor.
Don't get me wrong here people, at least regarding these 2 amazing little boys, I have faith, and I have hope...and I pray that they will be cured. But I do seem to have a tendency to doubt the higher ups during moments like these because it is so ridiculously unfair that anyone should have to go through all of this, let alone 2
little boys who havn't even begun to live their lives.
I guess, there's my rant for the day. Sorry I can't seem to conjure up something happy or mood lifting for you all...




Shawn at Easter


Me and Kelan, his first weekend at Children's Hospital.

allergies?

Hello folks...
Seems like summer is so crazy for everyone, but I know, that's now excuse for not blogging. I really can't remember when I have had such horrible allergies. My kids are being affected by it, but that's not too weird, they've always had allergies. Me, not so much. This year has been rough on me... I'm not used to getting sick and so far this year, I've had strep throat and a sinus infection. Oh, and guess what I still have my sinus infection, after a quick trip to the doc this morning I also have allergies. Aaaaaand a uti. TMI? Sorry.
Luckily, I can be on one antibiotic for 10 days that will hopefully get rid of both. Sinus infection once and for all. I'm also going to try some allergy medicine that the doc gave me as a sample! That was nice, and I'm really hoping that this all works and I'll be back to new before I know it!
Our summer is jampacked from here on out......maybe tonight I'll get my sh*t together and post some of the pics you've all been missing out on...

Happy 4th of July.

Ours was definitely different than usual. Because of our busy schedule we didn't go to Lopez, which in the long run, ended up being a good thing. Friday night we enjoyed a BBQ at our friends house and kept the kids up way to late, but they had so much fun. Saturday night we went to papa's house and tested out his new fire pit. It works great. Camden had his first s'more and we all had a sleepover. Camden woke up a few times in the night, but we didn't think anything of it because it's the first time in a long time he's slept in a crib at Papa's house. (usually he sleeps with papa)
*here's where the story gets good.
We decided to go to family breakfast at the Steak House in town on Sunday morning. My kids are big breakfast eaters so they ate a bowl of cereal at Papa's when they got up... we don't get breakfast til about 11 usually anyhow, so it's more like lunch. Anyways, we get our food ordered and are readily enjoying it. Camden was hoovering down his pancake, a little too quickly, chugging water, and hoovering some more. Yep, you guessed it, he started to choke on a piece, which turned to gagging, which turned to, yep... barf. In a restaurant at the table. OH - EM- GEE! This really is one of my worst nightmares. I hate barf, hate hate HATE barf. More than the average person. ICK! But I held it together, Colby took him outside for some air, all the while Camden was screaming cause he wanted to finish his food and I cleaned up barf off the floor. EWWWWW! Luckily it was nothing more than a case of eating too fast. Colby took Camden home and I ran over and snagged a delivery car from work and parked it in a good spot for the parade and had Grandma Cleone run me home. Cadynce went home with Papa to enjoy the afternoon with some one-on-one time. I walk in the door and realize somewhere along the way I've lost Cam's blankey. Great. Thank goodness I called the Steak House and one of the ladies found it outside. Colby went to pick it up and switch out his truck for the delivery car.
Enter nap time. Camden goes down, but then poops, so Colby gets him and changes him. He still won't go to sleep and begins freaking out. We tried all the stops and after a few minutes I realized he was really messing with his ear. Our normal doctors office was closed, the ten minute walk in clinic was closed and so our only option was the ER. We headed up to the hospital hoping to beat all the normal 4th of July injuries and we did. Got in and out in no time at all. However, Camden has double ear infections, bad and worse. So bad, they even gave him Vicoden and a prescription for it too! Whoa!
He got in a little nap, and Colby and him met me and Cadynce down in town for the parade. After that we went to John and Lauren's to celebrate John's birthday and play with fireworks. We were home by 8:30 with kids in bed shortly after. Cadynce ended up in our bed about 9:15 or so because all the booms were scaring her. Camden was out cold until about midnight when he joined us...


Happy Independence Day! Hope you all enjoyed a less eventful holiday than we did!

birthday bowling.

the birthday girl and her daddy.

chloe rockin' a tutu.

sweet sweet girls.

baby sophie lou

charlie!

make a wish!

better. sort of.

I have now finished my five days of antibiotics, but only two days into them, decided that Camden needed to head in because his eyes have been looking pretty icky. We now have our first ever case of pink-eye in the house. I've always heard it's reallllly contagious, but somehow we've all escaped it. Not sure who's at work with that, but thank you whoever you are!
Yesterday we went to Ron and Stacie's house for a BBQ. Our kids always love it because they live on a huge farm and have lots of room for running around and playing. Colby headed down to the river with Skylar (their son) and went fishing for a bit...Kali (their daughter) is crazy and played in the pool for hours while me and Stac got dinner going. We had a nice little fire and everyone had lots of fun. Colby and the kids played baseball for a little bit and our kids climbed into their trailer and watched Cars and Shark Tale. It was really nice to have a laid back evening and visit with friends as a family. This is something we need to work on doing more often. Tonight we're going to papa's house to try out his new fire pit and have dinner with him. We're going to have s'mores and probably even spend the night! My kiddos are still exhausted and turning brown from the little bit of summer sun we've had. Time to soak it up while we can!
Hope you all have a Happy 4Th!


p.s. it's weird to not be on Lopez this year, we did really enjoy our week up there last summer. plus, it's my ten year reunion...oh well, there's always the twenty right?

sick.

I went to Lopez last weekend for (one of) Lauren's bridal shower and batchelorette party. I swear I wasn't on the island more than two minutes and I was a walking allergy commercial. I had itchy eyes and throat, sneezing, sniffling... yeah yeah. Anyways, it didn't go away, even after I got home. Then over this weekend, we went bowling and all that good stuff for Cadynce's birthday and I lost my voice. Weird, right? After a miserable few days I broke down and went to the doctor. I have a sinus infection and a "suspicious" looking throat. What does that mean?! Anyways, I'm on antibiotics now, but I did stay home from work today because the thought of talking on the phone all day made my throat hurt even more just thinking about it. Bad part is, I can't sleep due to that fact that I can't breathe! sheesh! Just hoping that the kids and Colby stay healthy!

Living with a 5 year old.

Cadynce was up at 6:45 this morning. Colby went and got her and threw her in bed with me, turned on cartoons, and jumped in the shower (he had to work). She does not sit still and every two minutes she has something to say. Finally, at 7:45, Camden woke up, so I rolled myself out of bed and got things going. I'm not sure where she gets this from, but she has to know exactly what we are doing for every second of the day. So before I can even get a sip of coffee or their breakfast done she is asking, "mom, what are we doing today?"..."and then what?"..."uh-hu, and after that?"... "oh, and mommy, can I take my moose that papa got me? You know papa got me this moose for my birthday last night?"..."yes Cadynce, I know that papa got you that. And I don't know what else we are doing today." Take note, that was like a 30 second conversation. I got the kids their cereal and hopped in the shower. We got all ready and went to go get some REAL coffee, enter Starbucks! Starbucks is maybe a five minute drive my house, ok, more like 7, but anyhow, she did NOT stop talking the WHOLE time. And she bounces from thing to thing.


-mom, can i bring my moose into napa when we get there?
-oh, mommy, did you see the helicopter is back.. it must not be out saving lives.
-is papa going to be working, what day is it?
*i can't even answer because another thought/question/phrase is flowing from her little mouth.
-that's where i had my swim license (yes, license not lessons)
-are we going to go this way to Napa, or back by our house.
-mommy, remember that time when me and alex and camden were playing on the blue thingy with the water, and the little pool, and camden would go back and forth and me and alex would too, that was the same day that nana dropped off alex. that was when nana was alive though. not dead.
*one gigantic run-on sentence. Whoa.


Finally, we get to Starbucks, I always have to remind them to be quiet when I'm ordering and through the line. Oh heavenly coffee....I can now tune out the ramblings of my five year old because I have a Venti-nonfat-with whip cream mocha.



please note: this was all before 10 am.

5.

Today my little girl is 5. Yesterday, I was driving out to pick up her gift and realized at that exact moment five years prior, we were driving to the hospital to have her. I can't figure out where time has gone. I feel like I should be able to remember every single day, 5 years isn't that long, and yet, all I have are bits and pieces. I've taken millions of pictures, thank goodness, I just hope it's enough. I can't help but think that if I can only keep bits and pieces of the last five years, what will the next five be like, and the five after that?

This will be Cadynce's first birthday without her Nana. It's been a really hard couple of weeks for her, so I'm grateful for the distractions this weekend. I think today will be the hardest on me. Last year, we went and had ice cream with Nana, Papa, John and Lauren.

In the fall Cadynce will be starting Kindergarten and she is really excited. I am too. She needs something for herself that is a challenge and doesn't include her brother. And maybe she'll talk less at home since she'll do so much of it at school. Wishful thinking? I think so.

I love my little girl. Happy Birthday Cadynce Rae!

susan.g.komen.

So as you can see --- it was raining. Addy was cozied up in Bob.

Melissa, Sarah, me and Sarah. Oh and Addy too!

Sarah rocking her tattoo!

J.C. ... nice banana!

The Dahlbecks!

Gangsta Sarah.

Me and Sarah.

Sarah pushin Addy in Bob, in the rain. ick.

Me and Sarah Weller.